Comments for Scattered pieces http://www.scatteredpieces.org Working on putting the pieces back together Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:33:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on The walk by castorgirl http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/the-walk/comment-page-1/#comment-55573 castorgirl Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:33:51 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4399#comment-55573 Hi Kerro, Thanks... I should say that the walk was long enough that I got totally lost in an area of town I'd never been in before... So while it may sound quick within the post, it probably was about an hour of fast walking before the negative self-talk came into play. It's an awful experience, isn't it? Take care, and with (((warm safe hugs))) if wanted, CG Hi Kerro,

Thanks…

I should say that the walk was long enough that I got totally lost in an area of town I’d never been in before… So while it may sound quick within the post, it probably was about an hour of fast walking before the negative self-talk came into play.

It’s an awful experience, isn’t it?

Take care, and with (((warm safe hugs))) if wanted,
CG

]]> Comment on The walk by Kerro http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/the-walk/comment-page-1/#comment-55531 Kerro Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:41:23 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4399#comment-55531 Hi CG, I'm really sorry you got so triggered, but as someone else said, it is definite progress and healing that you found another way to deal with it. I'm also interested that your negative self talk kicks in so quickly after the instinct to run. Perhaps mine does too, although I'm still too caught up in the "run, run away, run now" to hear it. Please take gentle care. ((hugs)) if wanted. Hi CG, I’m really sorry you got so triggered, but as someone else said, it is definite progress and healing that you found another way to deal with it.

I’m also interested that your negative self talk kicks in so quickly after the instinct to run. Perhaps mine does too, although I’m still too caught up in the “run, run away, run now” to hear it.

Please take gentle care. ((hugs)) if wanted.

]]> Comment on The walk by castorgirl http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/the-walk/comment-page-1/#comment-55442 castorgirl Tue, 31 Jan 2012 20:31:22 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4399#comment-55442 Hi CI, It was a big deal to go for a walk... but, I'm also not totally oblivious that there was a push to do so as part of the food issues that are happening at the moment. So, it wasn't totally positive; but better than some of the alternatives... There's that saying - it's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get back up... and I think that's apt for the struggle with self-injury. It's a slow process to change those old dysfunctional ways, and find new ways of coping. But it can be done... Thanks for the support CI, I really appreciate it. There are many times that I wish I lived in another country, and could support others more... Take care, and with (((warm safe hugs))) if wanted, CG Hi CI,

It was a big deal to go for a walk… but, I’m also not totally oblivious that there was a push to do so as part of the food issues that are happening at the moment. So, it wasn’t totally positive; but better than some of the alternatives…

There’s that saying – it’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get back up… and I think that’s apt for the struggle with self-injury. It’s a slow process to change those old dysfunctional ways, and find new ways of coping. But it can be done…

Thanks for the support CI, I really appreciate it. There are many times that I wish I lived in another country, and could support others more…

Take care, and with (((warm safe hugs))) if wanted,
CG

]]> Comment on The walk by castorgirl http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/the-walk/comment-page-1/#comment-55436 castorgirl Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:40:47 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4399#comment-55436 Hi Storm Dweller, I thought that was the title of the story, but when I read the outlines online, it didn't quite match what WPT told me. I do remember him holding up that book though... so, it could be that I've altered the story to fit what I wanted, or he altered it. I realise that healing is a process, but it feels as if I've been stuck in this place for so long... it's a little frustrating! I'm glad that I didn't resort to a more dysfunctional form of coping, and that is progress. The walk was frightening... it was scary to experience all the flashbacks in such a public place. It also forced me to cope with those flashbacks in a contained way. I understand what you mean by anniversaries... next week is the anniversary of the last attack by my ex-husband; and while I thought I was distant enough from it, that it wouldn't bother me... it obviously is. Thank you for your support, encouragement, and sharing some of your own story... I appreciate it. Take care, CG Hi Storm Dweller,

I thought that was the title of the story, but when I read the outlines online, it didn’t quite match what WPT told me. I do remember him holding up that book though… so, it could be that I’ve altered the story to fit what I wanted, or he altered it.

I realise that healing is a process, but it feels as if I’ve been stuck in this place for so long… it’s a little frustrating! I’m glad that I didn’t resort to a more dysfunctional form of coping, and that is progress. The walk was frightening… it was scary to experience all the flashbacks in such a public place. It also forced me to cope with those flashbacks in a contained way.

I understand what you mean by anniversaries… next week is the anniversary of the last attack by my ex-husband; and while I thought I was distant enough from it, that it wouldn’t bother me… it obviously is.

Thank you for your support, encouragement, and sharing some of your own story… I appreciate it.

Take care,
CG

]]> Comment on The walk by castorgirl http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/the-walk/comment-page-1/#comment-55434 castorgirl Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:27:19 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4399#comment-55434 Hi jactweets, Thank you for the support, and for dropping by to comment... :) Take care, CG Hi jactweets,

Thank you for the support, and for dropping by to comment… :)

Take care,
CG

]]> Comment on The walk by CimmerianInk http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/the-walk/comment-page-1/#comment-55424 CimmerianInk Tue, 31 Jan 2012 18:18:01 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4399#comment-55424 As I was reading, I felt your anxiety CG. I'm really glad you went for a walk. I'm going to tell you that taking that action is a big deal. I know that, because I know how hard it can to make yourself get up instead of just staying and following through with what your mind wants you to do. It doesn't matter if you can't always do it, and of course I don't mean that self-injury doesn't matter. What I mean is that we try and sometimes we fall down but it's great to keep trying and sometimes we make progress. Even if we feel we've taken a step back, it doesn't erase the progress. My therapist says that people who are healing are still heading up the mountain, they're just taking a different path instead of going straight up. It may be sideways but it still goes to the same place and it's still moving up. There are many times that I wish I could be there for you in person. I'm sorry I can't be, but I'm here in whatever way is possible. *safe hugs if that's ok* As I was reading, I felt your anxiety CG. I’m really glad you went for a walk. I’m going to tell you that taking that action is a big deal. I know that, because I know how hard it can to make yourself get up instead of just staying and following through with what your mind wants you to do.

It doesn’t matter if you can’t always do it, and of course I don’t mean that self-injury doesn’t matter. What I mean is that we try and sometimes we fall down but it’s great to keep trying and sometimes we make progress. Even if we feel we’ve taken a step back, it doesn’t erase the progress. My therapist says that people who are healing are still heading up the mountain, they’re just taking a different path instead of going straight up. It may be sideways but it still goes to the same place and it’s still moving up.

There are many times that I wish I could be there for you in person. I’m sorry I can’t be, but I’m here in whatever way is possible.

*safe hugs if that’s ok*

]]> Comment on The walk by Storm Dweller http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/the-walk/comment-page-1/#comment-55394 Storm Dweller Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:40:01 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4399#comment-55394 Yes a similar story of "The Skeleton Woman" is in the book "Women Who Run with the Wolvesm," but it's such an apt metaphor for those of us trying to figure out how we cope with our past without doing it at the expense of the present and possibly the future. Don't be too hard on yourself. Healing is a process, and it doesn't ever really end... at least in my experiences so far. I move through periods where I feel like I'm over it and I'm free, and then some anniversary creeps up on me unawares, and says, "Hello there, I'm still waiting for you to acknowledge the scar I left there. Make me some tea, we need to talk." It's about quality of life improvement, and making progress. You made so much progress right here in what you described. You didn't resort to old harmful coping mechanisms. You picked something else instead. And it frightened you. But one of you was loud enough to drown out the clamor, and to give you what you needed to ground yourself. That's IMMENSE. Thank that part of you for remembering and offering that story, and celebrate that victory. It may seem a small thing to you, but those victories add up to that immense goal called healing. Yes a similar story of “The Skeleton Woman” is in the book “Women Who Run with the Wolvesm,” but it’s such an apt metaphor for those of us trying to figure out how we cope with our past without doing it at the expense of the present and possibly the future. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Healing is a process, and it doesn’t ever really end… at least in my experiences so far. I move through periods where I feel like I’m over it and I’m free, and then some anniversary creeps up on me unawares, and says, “Hello there, I’m still waiting for you to acknowledge the scar I left there. Make me some tea, we need to talk.” It’s about quality of life improvement, and making progress. You made so much progress right here in what you described. You didn’t resort to old harmful coping mechanisms. You picked something else instead. And it frightened you. But one of you was loud enough to drown out the clamor, and to give you what you needed to ground yourself. That’s IMMENSE. Thank that part of you for remembering and offering that story, and celebrate that victory. It may seem a small thing to you, but those victories add up to that immense goal called healing.

]]> Comment on The walk by jactweets http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/the-walk/comment-page-1/#comment-55367 jactweets Tue, 31 Jan 2012 10:49:23 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4399#comment-55367 Take what support you need on your walk!!! powerful post Take what support you need on your walk!!! powerful post

]]> Comment on Who are the “creepy guys”? by castorgirl http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/who-are-the-creepy-guys/comment-page-1/#comment-55281 castorgirl Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:34:13 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4388#comment-55281 Hi Storm Dweller, You're right... people can fly under the radar because of their looks, and also be falsely accused of things too. We still place too much emphasis on looks and stereotypes... Child abuse can be difficult for some people to come to terms with... It sounds as if the student in your class was at least thinking about what had been discussed. It might have been drowned out by their denial, or it might have sparked some rethinking of their ideas. It sounds like it was the right time and place to challenge those ideas. We can't change everyone, but we can talk about our opinions and experiences in the hope that it will spark something for the other person... Well done for speaking out... Take care, CG Hi Storm Dweller,

You’re right… people can fly under the radar because of their looks, and also be falsely accused of things too. We still place too much emphasis on looks and stereotypes…

Child abuse can be difficult for some people to come to terms with… It sounds as if the student in your class was at least thinking about what had been discussed. It might have been drowned out by their denial, or it might have sparked some rethinking of their ideas. It sounds like it was the right time and place to challenge those ideas. We can’t change everyone, but we can talk about our opinions and experiences in the hope that it will spark something for the other person…

Well done for speaking out…

Take care,
CG

]]> Comment on Who are the “creepy guys”? by castorgirl http://www.scatteredpieces.org/2012/01/who-are-the-creepy-guys/comment-page-1/#comment-55277 castorgirl Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:20:10 +0000 http://www.scatteredpieces.org/?p=4388#comment-55277 Hi CI, Thanks :) I don't think society is ready to accept that an abuser could be someone they know, and respect. It shakes them from their comfort zone... When you consider that people don't want to believe that the "nice quiet man next-door" is an abuser, you can understand why they don't want to see a woman as an abuser either. It's kind of funny, as when I mentioned to my GP that there was abuse in my marriage, she said "were you abusing him?"... so, not only did she know that women could be abusers, but she thought that I was one. I'm glad my friend backed me up too... Take care, CG Hi CI,

Thanks :)

I don’t think society is ready to accept that an abuser could be someone they know, and respect. It shakes them from their comfort zone… When you consider that people don’t want to believe that the “nice quiet man next-door” is an abuser, you can understand why they don’t want to see a woman as an abuser either. It’s kind of funny, as when I mentioned to my GP that there was abuse in my marriage, she said “were you abusing him?”… so, not only did she know that women could be abusers, but she thought that I was one.

I’m glad my friend backed me up too…

Take care,
CG

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