Pigeon-holing
I think I’ve mentioned here before that we have a young one called Aimee who is 9, happy and illiterate. Similar to S being a sexual being, I’d pigeon-holed Aimee in this way, quite forgetting all the other things she does for us. Quite often in therapy, if we’re worried about saying something that is a little scary, we’ll ask Aimee to say it for us – things like we’re scared of talking about food, etc. She’s also incredibly happy, no matter what is happening. When things are too out of control, she’s often nowhere to be found, but when we’re tired beyond belief, she will often be there to help us through. To put it bluntly, she’s incredible… If there’s any aspect of the different ones that we’d like to have consistent access to, it’s Aimee’s optimism.
Over the years, Aimee has learned that she can communicate with people online if she gets one of the others to read and write for her. Usually this job was Sophie’s, but recently W was doing the interpreting for Aimee. What we’ve noticed, is that with W doing the reading and writing, suddenly Aimee seems to be able to do more reading and writing herself. It’s not like she’s gone to school and suddenly learned how to read, but rather some of W’s literacy seems to have leaked over to Aimee. It’s the first tangible sign of healing and growth that I have seen within the system… I know this may sound silly, but yesterday was a very long day filled with triggers and sharing of secrets, so Aimee suddenly being able to read and write a little bit is huge.
I know that this should be a further lesson in why I shouldn’t stereotype or pigeon-hole any part within the system. I suppose I get caught up in wanting them to be one- or two-dimensional and forget that some of the different ones are quite complex personalities. Recent blog reading would indicate that it would be easier to heal if the different ones weren’t so complex, but even the act of one part becoming seemingly more complex has given me hope… Aimee is becoming less extreme in her personality, so maybe that means we will all move toward being more balanced and co-operative…
Reading and writing signify intelligence, high scholarly expectations and being serious… This is why I think Aimee was never able to read or write, those skills don’t fit with her role of being happy and carefree. So if she is now reading and writing, but still happy, her personality is becoming more complete and rounded. Whether this means she will be integrated, or continue to exist as a separate one within the system, I don’t know. But I see it as an important step in our healing process…
