I am small

Posted October 30th, 2009 by castorgirl and filed in Abuse, Alter, Child abuse, Creative expression, Poem, Self harm, Suicidal ideation, Triggers

Tags: Abuse, Child abuse, Creative expression, Poem, Self injury, Suicidal ideation, Triggers

8 Comments

I am small, young and lost.
Oh so vulnerable and ready to break with one more cross word or look.

I am small, young and needing to strike out.
So frustrated with not being able to tell anyone what is wrong.

I am small, young and dirty.
I’ll never be able to get clean, the dirt is so deep inside of me that no scrubbing brush can reach it.

I am small, young and silent.
I can’t talk, I have no voice and no way to express what is happening.

I am small, young and sore.
Please hurt me again, it’s all I deserve.

I am small, young and worthless.
I am rubbish at your feet.

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8 Responses to “I am small”

Ivory says:

30 October, 2009 at 3:06 pm

We all hear you now. No, you are not rubbish and you need not be silent any longer. Love to you.

[Reply]
castorgirl says:

31 October, 2009 at 12:00 am

Thank you Ivory. These were little snippets that Sophie got from different young ones during a really rough day…

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LostShadowChild says:

31 October, 2009 at 7:41 am

All the little ones are so precious. It’s a long, long way that these hurt little ones are able to learn this, to break these chains of bad messages. They deserve the best, that they are now cared for, that they find the words and the permission to tell. They are not rubbish. They are precious. Sending you lots of safe hugs (((())))

[Reply]
castorgirl Reply:
October 31st, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Thank you (((LostShadowChild))). We get stuck because some of us don’t believe you when you say that we deserve better, but we also know you wouldn’t lie to us. It’s very confusing.

Kind regards,
W, SO & Sophie

[Reply]
LostShadowChild Reply:
November 1st, 2009 at 10:44 am
I really understand why some of you cannot believe what I have written and that’s confusing for you. I’m sorry that my comment causes a mess. Maybe there will be a time when the little ones can accept this truth. It takes a lot of time.
But please be sure, I would never lie to anyone of you. Never (((())))

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castorgirl Reply:
November 4th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Your comment didn’t cause the mess :)
Take care,
CG

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Grace says:

31 October, 2009 at 3:17 pm

This is inredibly powerful and poignant…thank you for sharing
~ Grace

[Reply]
castorgirl Reply:
October 31st, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Thank you Grace :)
Take care,
Sophie :)

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