Sans therapist
We went to see Carol yesterday to see if we could go back to see her – she was the therapist before Bob. The answer seems to be that we can’t…
The break from us did her good in that she wanted to clarify boundaries and think of ways in which to move forward with healing. But again it seemed as if the therapy was going to mainly be driven by her. There was an indication that skills to assist us in coping were going to be introduced, but why weren’t these worked on the last time we saw her? We saw her for nearly three years after all… It might just be us being cynical, but it seems that it’s only since we went and saw Bob that she really began to research dissociative disorders. Surely this should have been worked on while we were seeing her, rather than after we’d left her?
What was both scary and comforting is that she picked up when something she said wounded us. She knows us, she knows how to read us. But we need someone who can help us heal – not just someone who knows how to play with Aimee…
The worrying thing is that there are so few therapists in this place. Carol is going to talk to her supervisor tomorrow to see if they can suggest someone for us. We know that many people go through periods of no therapy and it helps them, so it sort of makes us feel pretty weak to NEED a therapist. But we know that our level of coping means that we need those external checks on our safety – we can appear to the outside world to be highly functional, but inside it’s chaos.
Will see what happens tomorrow…
